Let’s try again…

Same junk!

This version of Wordpress, as installed by Hostway, sucks mud!

That being the case, I won’t be updating it. (as you can see from the last years lack of activity.

Note that this was written in normal font, which was automagically converted to heading1 when saved. I have only ever been able to work-around this with the most strenuous effort and it’s just not worth it!
Roy.

So this is the New Year.

Two Scotsmen were laughing about charging $40 dollars for enough toilet paper to clean your ass, down near the edge of ones property, above a small hollow. There had been a moment when One realized he owned where the Other was. The One thought about it and laughed. He left his Mama and her braids and went to meet his neighbor. They were behind some fairly large boulders. Behind and a little below. Laughing as one waved the toilet paper. They were startled to hear crashing sounds to their left. Suddenly a hugh buck lept through the brush and leapt over the two boulders.. They caught a quick flash of his magnificaent rack at the peak of his leap. At that instant, an arrow transfixed the buck right behind his shoulder, sinking deep with a great thud. The buck crashed to the ground, actually pushed sideways a bit by the force of the strike. The two men jumped as a single creature on the buck as he thrashed.
At that moment, a phone rang … As I woke up, looking around, I reached over and picked it up.
It was Dave. Sitting up I asked "Oh Hi Dave." "What the fuck time is it anyway?"	"Oh, I don’t know, around eleven I think."
"Had rain up there?"	They’re digging Gurnville out of the mud. Our power was out."
"Still float turds in the winter?"	Oh yeah, doesn’t even make the paper anymore."
"Huh, so how are you doing? Still on the Job?"	"Oh yeah, I got another 3 mo. The papers to extend are in but who knows how that comes out."
"Cool, so whats up. "	"Oh nothing much just called to wish you a happy New Year."
"Hey, Happy New Year man good to hear from you."	"Talk to you later, night."
"bye."

I didn’t get back to sleep for a long time. Never did find out how it came out for the Scots.

Nothing Dear, just kidding.

So I picked up a small job adding some buttons to a form to calculate area and display the result in dollars and cents.

OK, no big deal.

1. Just as I was finishing, monitor dies in the middle of an editing session.

2. DSL provider (new) tells me I have to activate NOW or I’m in danger of losing $200. Do not pass go.

3. Can’t shut down computer or the Wiki AntiSpamBot won’t.

4. Mail client gives up and won’t send mail???

5. Apparently I’ve developed "Mouse Shoulder" because the KB is too high.

6. Forgot about Thanksgiving coming up, oops, guess I’ll miss some time. Oh well, I can still get some time in on it.

7. The oven, after working perfectly the night before, decides it’s going to stay on all the time.

8. I buy an oven thermometer and spend 4 hours manually cycleing the oven on and off to control the heat. No programming.

It actually only took all of friday (14hrs) to fix everything but still!
The turkey came out perfect BTW.

---

 

Anyone for a little head?
And with that the thread was locked.

Whoh!

I’m not sure but I think I program best drunk.

Problem is I haven’t been getting drunk, and I haven’t programmed shit.

Oh Well.

R.

One of my friends…

Has a new job. Same company, but now he gets all the blame. Ha Ha.

More humor from Jaffy
I’ll have to think a bit before the next post here.

Ok. Finished.

Nitey Nitey
Roy.

---

Good Morning, Wake up, its 9:00 am here. I already went jogging. Is this your website too? Should I download the programs that you said also? I don’t know how to get to my cgi-bin without going through filezilla, will they go there by themselves? I’m bored, I guess I should go work on the "database". Wake up!!! Patti

Had a little too much coffee this morning Patti? Ha Ha, I’m usually up at ~5:30 get on your mail!

---

Several things of interest:

1. Real Programmers or more on Real Programmers
2. The Story of Mel
3. The Perl Secret Underground
4. Real Programmers Build Their Own Form
5. Lambda

I think I just found a new favorite forum. The Daily WTF

My kind of place.

Well, sorta, they are a little arrogant, but then who isn’t.
I thought it was really funny to read the horrible corrections to terrible code though.
Roy

I sort of fell into this topic when I answered a question in the NV|U form for a lady who wanted to use a form she had created.
I ended up:

1. Installing a Server on my system
2. Configuring a CGI-BIN script to handle the form.
3. Re-writing the form to correct the errors
4. Installing the script on her Web site
5. etc, etc, etc…

took four days actually, of concentrated hacking.

Had a lot of fun though. Created a whole topic on the NV|U Wiki in The Netherlands on "How-to-do-it".

It’s Sunday, I’m going to quit and just fuck off for a while now.

Roy.

Jusuz! wat a day!

Still working on the Spamthingie - got a little sidetracked today- all in a good cause.

I needed to check out exactly how cgi-bin was going to like my ‘Bot scripts.

I started - just implement responding to a form.

Whoh! gotta have a server running.
ok set up M$ IIs - sucked, didn’t work, - but I know it does if you get all the permissions and paths right.

So anyway I’m hacking away and getting no where.
BlueHairDave dropped in.

Damn- I can’t find his pic from when we were at controlnet.
This old story about Vickie though.

Here goddamitt! Vickie!

said "that shit’s not worth fucking with.
I gave him the seat and stepped aside.
He deleted the M$ crap, and installed another server, in about the time I’m taking to type this.
(God I hate these fucking kids, I remember having it together! but thats another story.)

So, any way, in between times, I managed to do a new version of the PhpAntiSpamBot and started debugging.
not running yet but built to plan this time.

When this works I’ll gain 2X speed, 1/10 the bandwidth use.
Cool huh?

So I’m still hacking at getting the example form & example cgi working.
I think I’ll have some wine and kick back for a while.
Roy.

MeanRoy

Hi Ya, Baby
Mean Roy’s back
I Suffered briefly,
from a Soft Attack,
I’ll make my heart,
just cold and hard,
Won’t be no friends
In my back yard.

Copyright 1997, Roy Kelsey.

>

Poems
on the web

I’ve been using N|VU for an html editor since 0.?, it’s come a long way since then and I really like it.

Here’s the evidence: Glazman on cam

Of course, I should talk, I hide my webcam shots if I can. Too embarrasing.

Roy.
Just for shits and grins:

This is starting to piss me off, REALLY! I can’t even paste a link into this POS blog but I can drag the link or text..
WTF!!!!

---

Evil Overlord

Only the first few listed here, see Jaffy for more

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I’ve read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I’ve noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present…

The Top 231 Things I’d Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies’ predicament before killing them.
7. When I’ve captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I’ll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I’ll shoot him then say "No."
8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks’ time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum – a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my
12. weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
13. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
14. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
15. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
16. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
17. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there’s just one thing I want to know."
18. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

This has got to be the most awkward blog to access or configure that exists on the web.
This Host has a fair no. of good points but this ain’t one!

I’ve been looking around for a place to consolidate some of my thoughts.
This is not going to be it.
I’ll install my own, thank you very much.

I guess I’ll put links here to various topics.

Later.
Roy.

But it’s "Free".
And in this case you get what you pay for. If you’re lucky.

Roy.

I just installed a Wiki to back up Corner-Carvers. Pretty nice, did it all in 1 12hr session.
(all day)

So here’s the blog, after I had to call support and get my first try deleted.

Now if I just had something to say…